Yesterday, my son and his wonderful family came over. Over breakfast, I was asking everyone what kind of bagel that they wanted. My son said, I want an “Everything Bagel”. My four-year old grandson questioned him, “You want all of the bagels?”
His four-year old mind misunderstood the words that my son had said (An Everything Bagel has everything on it (salt, garlic, sesame seeds, etc.). He understood the word “everything” but not in that context. We all had a good laugh about this and then his father gently explained to him what he had meant.
Too often in my interaction with people I misunderstand what they mean. This happens most often when I am having a disagreement with someone, especially with my wife. Relationships are tough sometimes and it takes an extra measure of “love believes all things” to escape a disagreement without it escalating into a full-blown argument. I am getting better at this but it has taken far too long. However, I am getting there!
I am learning that misunderstanding my wife’s words, actions and motives is very easy for me to do. But I have found that the key to getting through these misunderstandings is to give her the benefit of the doubt and to put a positive, loving spin on what I am not sure about. In other words, “She is innocent until proven guilty.” For far too long in our relationship, it was the other way around.
My grandson gave us a wonderful memory of a funny event. I assure you that I will tell that story many times. But I have never repeated the countless times that I have misunderstood my wife or others and have formed a wrong opinion. They are embarrassing and I wish that they had never happened!
I am on a path of discovery of thinking the best of people and that includes what they say. It’s work but I am going to keep at it. I hope that my grandchildren continue to give me wonderful stories to tell and I hope that my terrible stories end.